Living in the fast lane

I wander if this is going to be relevant, or am I writing this in revenge? Never do anything in the heat of the moment, you will regret it. I'm getting divorced I have so much to say on the matter I don't know where to start. Family, friends, it's all a blur. Will I ever regain my stance and be all I can be? Who I really am. Independent and free. In a wonderful world that is ready to be moulded. Opportunities waiting to be found, friends to be made. Lovers to embrace. So I'll keep it positive, I won't complain, and be bitter. Saying bad things about people who played a part in my life. Now is not the time. Now is the time for a new beginning, a fresh start. In love and life..

Christmas bar humbug

gonna write this in a hurry so please mind my mistakes..

Its christmas again,
and ive just gotton off the phone with my grandmother. I had the chance to be with her this christmas but chose to stay in brazil.. she's all alone, lost her husband 6 years ago and her daughter two years.. i guess its a lesson. just what i'm not sure.

but, i will be there soon. and she's going to be with her brother later today.
she cried on the phone. you know, it makes me feel sad, to think of her. But then, as my 3 year old daughter walks into the room, it brings it all home to me..

working project

I am on the current wave of a new success , if i can just bring all the balls into play, all the players into the game.

grammar, and thinking , if this is how I write, My god, how do I think??
Is your thinking connected to your current grammatical situation or stage at learning English?

This is the intro into a new conceptualisation of how we use languages, and why are we here, The magic meaning in life. Magic To life. To go deep and to discuss things that are only now in these modern times being discussed in some parts of the world...

If you can grasp part of the method and material of these courses/therapeutic sessions..

whilst riding home

I was enjoying a solo ride on my Yamaha 250 Lander motor X , when all of a sudden on the bend of the dirt track I was on there appeared out of nowhere, a strange bird like creature. It looked like a dinosaur, it had long legs and a big plump body. I'm pretty sure these things don't fly.. as Ive seen these things before , i knew they always travel in pairs, and as i braced myself for a collision; sure enough there was his partner, coming hell bent for leather out of the bush.. I swivered for a little then made for the gap between the two birds,

schgumf, .. I made it, scraped through with no damage to bike, me, or more importantly the birds I had rudely come across whilst tootling along the old country lane..

Diets and well bieng

I really must, must , must must must must infinitive ( pye) must, get back on track with my personal foodage plan, I know I make up words as i go along but thats beside the point, heck, we are in the 21st century after all. And as for all these commas, and full stops, ; ,, . well, who needs em.

so, back to black

i was saying,

I really need to think more carefully about what i'm putting in my mouth, espaecially when eating..

The plan was to elevate the consciesness when all ive been doing recently is elevating my drinking arm and the odd rump steak.
Bring back the veggies, the trip down to the veggy patch where i'd collect fresh organic goods straight from my garden and bring them in and prepare them right there and then, with a squirt of lemmon juice freshly picked from out back. . . oh them were the days..

before I started worke


Post work


Sleep a lot less, a hell of a lot less, unhealthily less, work more, a hell of a lot more, an unhealthilily , dont see your kids all day kinda more..

I will end there for fear of retrobution..

Amen

its about that time

So , since I had at least one person (out of, erm, how many do we have inhabiting the planet now these days?) ask why I dont post anymore; I thought i would do one for old times sake.

as time goes by and we flitter and fly, like good little boys and girls.
Does anyone really care,
what we should do with our hair
And the little boy ran off with the spoon!

thank you

wanted

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Oranges

yes, I am almost finally doing it. an orange juice diet, dont ask me what for just because, no sorry, its just the mood i'm in.

I am doing a detox of orange juice, the plan is two weeks of only oranges, wish me luck!

today I saw a man die.

today I saw a man die.

He was lying down on the side of the road, there were many people crowding round him, medics, on lookers, passers by like myself. Although I didn't stop the car altogether, i was going at a crawling pace to get the best look i possibly could. The feeling of seeing someone dying, lying there in the road. He was by the side of his motorbike, his stomach was ripped open and he appeared to have lost his legs. in front of the man lying in the road was a truck. I kept saying to myself; "stop stop the car, go and shoot some film, get some photos, a little bit of footage on your camera." I never stopped my car, I just kept driving.
Not until much later did i drive back. There were still people mulling around, The police had started to pull the crowds back and the reporters were already in there taking their bit. I managed to sidle up to a witness who was being filmed by the local TV station. I filmed him being filmed, got some funny looks off a few people and was even shouted at by a couple o guys that wanted to know what i was doing. I felt shaky, scared for pulling out my camera. I found the driver of the truck who was obviously shuck up. He was being interviewed, looking pretty bad, in a state of bewilderment. I spoke to his wife. She said the brakes had failed on the truck as he was coming down a hill. There was nothing he could do.
I asked her what religion she was, then I suggested the spiritual church. it was the least I could do..

I thought i would have some footage to put up here, at least a photo, but after having just gone through the material it is all pretty useless. Listen to your heart, i was going to stop the car and get out when i first drove by, but..

regression session

This has been written by a friend

Meet Yourself!
Past-Life-Regression/ PLR/ & Life-Between-Life Regression sessions / BLR/.

My Precious Friend,

I am so happy for every person, who is interested in getting this experience!
It is the greatest joy on Earth for me to greet and welcome You to this Event!
I was longing about this gift and prayed to The Creator to grant it to me in order to help people with the highest Resource and the best tool.
I was seeking it and traveled – in reality and beyond, looking for Truth.
Being a PH.D. philosopher and University professor, I received it with gratitude with the help of one of my greatest teachers, who was barely able to read…
17 years later every Session for me is still a True Miracle!

Imagine, you share with someone the most important events of her/his life: birth, first steps, first love, first-born, the most dramatic experiences, crossing over…What would you feel to this person? That’s what I feel about my recipients! And much more! I share the experiences of many lives of the same person!
I watch, how people grow from one life to another and from session to session and I am here to give my hand and to love you with all my heart! And we are growing together!
Those ones, who are thirsty for Truth and choose the spiritual path, after certain quantity of sessions are able to meet there Guides, Angels and follow them.
PLR opens our deep memory and tremendously increases our creative abilities.
IMPORTANT: in my practice You are staying in complete control.
IT IS 100% SAFE.
It is Energy Attunement technique.

Who is able to make it? Everyone, who can remember in images and visualize his/her yesterday’s events.
It's easy. What do you need ?

1. A firm intention.
2. To be calm.
3. To be focused.
Your Guides, Angels and me will take care of the rest.
PLR/LBL IS A GOOD THERAPY.
IT HELPS IN FORGIVENESS.
IT IS A GREAT WAY TO INCREASE CREATIVITY AND DEVELOP ANY TALENTS.
IT’S AN ADVENTURE!

Why do I have some negative patterns in my relationships repeatedly?Why..? –It is the answer for numerous questions.

Body/mind care helpful tips.

FOR 3 DAYS BEFORE
- NO ALCOHOL intake.
- Try to avoid eating red meet, watching TV excessively, getting overtired at pc and other overdoing activities.
- Pay attention to regular and proper bowmovement.
A glass of apple cider/prune juice or dry apricots/prunes might be a good help.
You may take Valerian root capsules 3 times a day
/yogi recommend taking Valerian root tea for a year just for better results in meditating/.
- Rest well, sleep well, go for a walk.
Touch the tree. WATCH THE STARS, if it's possible.
Think about yourself as a part of Universe. Embrace the Universe with your Love!*
Practice daily appreciation, inner piece and harmony.
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DREAMS.

You may
Write THE LETTER to Your Upper Soul.
You can tell your Upper Soul, that you give your permeation to unlock your deep memory.
If you want to get any particular answers, be specific.
Put forward the biggest tasks.
Read the letter at bedtime.
.
You might make a bit of research on Past-Life- Regression sessions on line.
Give me a call and I'll answer your questions.

You may view your previous life or any of past lives to get the answer to your questions. You may choose not to make any special questions.
Since the moment I received your ‘’yes’’, I am praying for you!

I love myself, therefore I love totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright, and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the Universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more. And so it is. Louise L. Hey Much Love to your heart!
Feel, that you are in Creator's hands!
• ……………………………………….
Recommendation. Talking about the Universe, I would strongly recommend to anyone to be firm in the intention to stay yourself, to protect yourself with your mind power, while you are thinking about the space and the stars . There are groups of victims of the extraterrestrials in US. The victims report, that the inner intervention, they experienced, starts with people’s permeation on our consciousness level to let them contact. As far as we disagree to contact, they are unable to do it, because human will is stronger.
There are 5 other planet’s civilizations, which are good for us to contact. One of them is Sirius, our Father’s aspect. To learn more:

Drunvalo Melchizedek. The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life: Volume 1, 2.
Drunvalo is one of the greatest Teachers of nowadays. This book and his ‘’Living in The Heart’’are highly recommended for any seeker and lightworker!
No costly fees. No payment is necessary.
Donations are accepted with gratitude.


Warmly,
Sunny- Oxana Valansky, Ph. D.

Day ?

I have decided that to make things easier on the people around me, I will not be so strict upon myself, for the task of becoming ultra 100 percent raw vegan is more difficult than i thought.
To make a dream reality one first needs to be prepared, and this is something I had not planned for. I reacted on an impulse. When I first saw youtube videos of raw vegan's, I thought it was so wonderful. I have been trying to be a fruitarian for years.

I have found some great people with beautiful ideas on life.

I will continue to pursue this new experience, just go with the flow..

sugar

I wish I hadnt, but I have, I did, I took part in a sugar fest, I ate a sweet, then another, then i turned myself upon the panattone, oh, my head, it hurts. when will i be free from this gluttonous world of food..

hit n run, or stop and see

Tonight whilst driving home with my wife and kids, I hit a dog in the road. I saw it at the last minute, it was my fault.

Just after I ran over the dag I stopped the car by the roadside. Everyone asked me what I was doing, I said I needed to think. Sure I wanted to see if the dog was ok, and to check that there was nothing i could do for the poor thing..

In my rear view mirror I could see a man picking up the dog off the road and taking it to the side, I knew she was dead. I had a terrible feeling because at the time I was flicking through songs on my ipod. It was my fault.

A lesson to learn, recently my wife has been on at me for my driving, usually I am the best of drivers, but recently i have been rushing.. If that dog had been a small child, an old man..

When we arrived home there had been a storm on the farm, the four chicks I had bought last week for the children had been left out, I am currently nursing two of them back to health at this moment in time having had given one of them the kiss of life, just one perished, left out to die in the cold wind and the rain..

Lessons, every one of them

There was an article in the newspaper today about a man that had found out about things choosing their own fate, that each one of us choose our own destiny, mapped out before we are born. I only hope that is the case for the two life's that were lost today at my hand..

Sorry guys..

its so early

Why am i up so early?

day 7 raw food?

well,

I arrived home at lunch time to find the table stocked with food, as usual, cooked food, for the kids..

I was initially angry to see my favorite fried manjoka, but hey, I'm in the beginning stages of this right?

I succumbed to my instincts and ate some food. My wife seems to think that Beans and rice are essential items. Being brought up in Brazil, this is the staple diet. I suppose if i married an English woman she would be on at me to eat sausage and chips saying it was necessary to eat these kinds of foods.

I am eating much more fresh fruit and veggies, more often and feeling much better for it, so if now and then I eat cooked food so be it. I would love to be able to say that I am 100 percent raw food vegan, but for now I am happy with what I got..

lost at sea

Well I wander if I can manage it, if this is really the place for it.

An emptying of my closet, my mind will wander and pour.

If you believe it or not,

whether your here or not

this does not matter

I am within you

You are me

We are

Are we? I am

.. Musings of a wandering tradesman, lost at sea and looking for work.

day 5

Wow , it is hard work. I managed two days , then a trip to the in-laws left me wandering if I aught to be taking my time and working my way into this diet. Thankfully I managed to catch a bit of youtube with tonya kay and Courtney Taylor, talking about 100% raw vegan, and the trick is to have your favorite foods stocked in the house for when you need them. Not to force it, its not worth it. I've always been a believer in eat what you want. Although its difficult sometimes to remember that, I tend to force other people not to eat what I dont want them to eat..
Sometimes I would go to put a piece of meat in my mouth, even as a child, and not be able to. Maybe its the vibration, the way in which the animal was slaughtered, who knows. But one thing is for sure, something stops me from eating that meat. And when it happens , I listen to my heart.

Day 3

Into day 3 of the raw food endeavor, trying not to use the word ' diet'

As you can see my Blogging skills are not quite what they could be having totally missed the first two days of the so called 'diet'

When you try something new there is going to be ups and downs, and times where you feel you are doing the right thing but wander whether it can be done..

This is one of those times, well, it was yesterday, so just imagine I am writing this as if it was day two of the 'experience. It is in fact 03:28, of Saturday the 1st of November. Why I didn't choose a Monday or wait for the 1st I don't know. Even to be a little more prepared would be good. I stocked my fruit bowls and bought enough nuts and seeds to mix up for breakfasts. But its the daily slog of eating that's getting me down. I mean, if i was a lonely man, living on his own, I could quite possibly do this quite easily. To live in a house with four others and to watch them eat cooked food, to smell it cooking, boiling, frothing over at the stove, hmmmmm. Will I ever eat cooked food again..

raw food diet ( vegan ?)

I have just found 'Raw food' to be high on my list of priorities. I intend to keep a journal to see how this journey goes, and to see where it takes me. Lets just hope this is the key to my success..

there is such a thing as Magic

For the past week I have been focused on getting a new car.
Its easy to end up with any old car, a car you nearly wanted or similar but not quite what you want.
By breathing deeply and concentrating on the car I wanted, in gratification by being thankful for what i have, the car came into view. It is now sitting in the drive, waiting for us to appreciate. There is such a thing as magic.

Craig Manganello R.I.P

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falling again

Again it has happened, strange but true. Must be a past life thing, or just a shift in energy.
When it happened , I was at an angle of reverse, all I could see was the back of a person, but i felt it all the same, I just knew, I felt it hard to keep away, and then I was hooked, line and sinker, Perhaps the feelings mutual, I am almost sure, but then again, thats life. Happens every day..
It was a musician and was on the same bill, the same group in fact, but this was a first time meeting, a passing flare . A brief encounter with a stranger, but to be able, to be in a postion where I could sit so close, and to marvel at the passion and playing ability. to be sure to be sure.
I tried to write this in code, to protect the innocent. thats the way I am, probably coming off as sneaky, but I mean no harm..

an amazing gig

I had an amazing gig on Sunday, I played my best ever show. And when I think about it now, there was a spot of magic in the air.
You know when every thing's just right you all click, on the same vibe.
There were not many in the room, just a small place , tucked away in the back of a big old English pub, but the players were something special. A sax player from Australia who has been in the country for 7 months, a beautiful player, a pleasure to work with. Having just joined the jazz scene recently I have still a lot to learn, and recording things makes life a hell of a lot better , being able to listen back to where you went wrong, why, and how you can better yourself to become able to hold your own; and the rest of the group.
Last week I played in a jazz quartet, recorded it on my N95 and from that was able to alter
my technique, for example, when the sax player went into one of his solo's, I was taught at music college to hold the beat down, just keeping things ticking over and quit enough for the soloist to be heard.. Where as on listening back to the tape I noticed that i lacked a certain, umf. it all seemed a little flat, and at a loss of life. So this week, i perked the drums up a bit, still playing quietly, subtly, but changing the groove ever so slightly, adding a few accents here or there made a big difference.
The 'Beautiful Baby' ( ride cymbal by Zildjian) I bought recently is a corker, real washy and over powering , it has rivets giving a great sizzle effect like Elvin Jones used, in the wrong hands can be disastrous. A couple of players have actually laughed at it not quite understanding the technique needed to handle such a monster.

blue sky ( jazz )

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a rehearsal in Hinckley with the guys for our first show together in this format, sax, drums, double bass, and guitar

the day before tuesday

I have just been inspired to write this, by someone I hold in high regards. A fellow musician and fellow solo'ist.

returning from the gig tonight i feel unusually empty. An emptiness not many of you will understand or maybe even comprehend. You can be rich, famous have a million friends and still be lonely.

But thats not it, not quite, at first i thought it was loneliness. feels the same, same kinda emptiness, although different. As far as i can tell its an emptiness brought on from a sudden void, being pushed out onto the edge and looking out into the abyss . what render's such behavior? I play drums, and quite well too, it comes to the point where your sitting there in mid performance wandering if its really any good. I mean it sounds great; don't get me wrong, but when you've built yourself up for something, when you get there an its finally happening; its like, hard to see from the top, especially when your in cloud. Wait for the dust to settle and the vision becomes clear again.. thats what i advise...

over and out

First showing of solo drum project

and now i have the website..

Can you believe I managed to pull off a great show and didn't record it for prosperity, gutted..

It went real well, my performance was well received , again I can only kick myself for not recording it.

My kit was sounding great and I played to the best of my abilities. The positive feedback I can get from this experience is to record everything i do and work harder to be a better player so one day i can be proud of who I am and what I do.. ( not that I'm not already )

Thanks

playing along to a machine

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drums and drumming

drum test

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blog another drum test, perk up a bit, its 9:30

testing the great outdoors live drums

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rehearsing a new move

drum solo testing

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testing a new project for floors in the system

My Brother's work for Humanity

audio drums

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me on the drums

part three

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see you on the other side

written and directed by Deek for a show called 'Rise And Shine T.V'

I play drums and sax , it was put together ingeniously as Deek sent me the bare guitar track with vocals, and I found myself recording the first thing that came to mind. Funnily enough I had written on my twitter the night before whilst shutting down: 'see you on the other side' and I was thinking of my Mum at the time..

Bass Jumpin

Here it is! bass jump

deep river blues audio

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recorded for randellfever on bass
douglas welch on guitar and vocals
cathy fever singing backing vocals
me on drums and sax
I had a great time doing it
Thanks to Randellfever for asking me to do this, lets hope we have more chance to do this again

deep river blues

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first post for Giannii and the seesmic studio

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this is the beggining of a new work, a project spanning the globe

1999 an amendment

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amending the story on dannypayne.com

1999 part 2

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a follow on from my story

1999 , a vision

al

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this is a story of how i met my wife

Alphastone

a profile of a band I was in through the late nineties in England..
history
photo's
discography

my little girl

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My baby daughter dancing with headphones just 11 months old

my friend makes these

estacao da luz

24, originally uploaded by dannypayne.

I went to see some friends of mine play last night in Brazil, they didn't get started till about midnight and played on through the morning.

a professionally superb show!

there are some photos here

destiny - on a quest

Read this first: on a quest

A continuation of an earlier posting:

All through the time I was ill, I could not see, I was a fool thinking foolish things, especially insensitive, irrational and selfish behavior. But to me it was second nature, second to none, and almost as real as it gets.
I had a breakdown. It was the drugs, definitely. well , that and being in a position of fame as a drummer for an influential man of our time, and also having fallen out of a long term , living with the girl, relationship,. the shit hurts man. but hey, I pulled through, I can say that now, because Ive been there, seen it , done that, whoa, here i go again, ...

1999.

where were we, arrr yes.

I was sat in my room at precisely 8 o'clock when I had the distinct feeling of a presence, it was not only a feeling but a reality and what was first a hazy image was to become a figure stood right there right in front of me .

What I can say now is that it was some form of a miracle, either sent by the person who represented the figure; sent be me myself to me in person; or for the grand effect, ( don't be alarmed I am going to use the three letter word ) it was god playing the god that helps us find our own destiny.
Now First Its important to have an understanding of the perceptions of God, taken relatively, because my understanding is this: God has no name, has no beard, is not a man, and did not make us in his own image, unless you've read anything on the planet X which describes us humans as merely a slave race created from what was on and around the earth at the time of invasion by none other than 'beings from outer space' now, if you can go along with me on this one. The beings created a slave race and were in fact 'like gods' from heaven . They possibly made man in an image of themselves and bla bla bla. I could go into much more detail about holy men, mystic mountains and Jesus. But this is neither the time nor the place as I am telling a completely different story to that one.

I am sitting on my bed, maybe in my hand was a copy of daniel defoe's Robinson Crusoe, as I was also reading that at the time.
All of a sudden there she was, standing as broad as day; now, i say she, because from first perceptions i thought the figure to be that of a woman. She had shoulder length hair and olive skin. But within seconds she was gone, almost as fast as she'd arrived.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for the occasional vision, here or there, this in actual fact being only the second since that of the age of eight, sitting in a circle with a man one side , a woman the other, us linked physically and me 'seeing' what was going on in the room' , but hey, yet 'another' story. But i will say this, at that time I also 'saw' a figure of a man , standing in the clouds, wearing a blue suit, a big ten gallon hat on his head, goat beard, smiling...

so, where were we, Few what fun it is to digress, and go off in search of lost realms when the fancy takes it. I could write a whole book just on tangents .

I took not a lot of notice of the 'vision' i saw that day in my room, not until quite a while later, . ,.

to be continued;
after me stretching session, sit tight.
obviously I will delete that coment for future reference!

my loved ones

Yesterday, I was fortunate enough to experience something very rare in this day and age.

The treatment of a witch doctor...

I say witch doctor in the loosest sense of the term. it was actually a psychiatrist, but i like to call her a witch doctor, for the pure and simple reason that she is spiritual, and enlightened...

It was due to my Mother dying that led me to visit this' witch doctor' , hahaha makes me sound like a weirdo i know. Honest, the lady was just a psychiatrist, but she was very knowledgeable in the arts of spiritual , social, human, and inter-actual relations. Also I can relate to having been to see a witch much better than saying i went to see a psychiatrist.

So any way,

The general banter was about my feelings as i go through the standard phases of losing a loved one, guilt, remorse, anger, pure love, hate,. All the usual ones.

It wasn't until I began to really open up and talk from the heart about more profound matters connected with the past couple of weeks that things began to get really interesting. Not only was I being cured from my 'illness', and dis-ease , but also I was learning a hell of a lot of new things to boot.
Can you imagine what its like to spill your guts and come clean about having had spiritually enlightening experiences on a plane and to explain visions and euphoria, not only in a second language but also to a non English speaker... difficult is an understatement.

so, here goes.

I was told that the visions I have been having recently are due to a turn in the tide, as it were. A change of frequency, multiple vibration shift... 'For when the Eagle and the condor fly in unison, will there then be peace on Earth'.
This a Prophecy from North and South America, Native Indians. It turns out that the peoples that were on these parts of the planet were far different from us Europeans, in more ways than one! I suppose you know all about the Mayan calender and the story of 2012, if for some reason you have not come across it, Things are still moving rather slow, and there is still time ( which is completely relative anyway ) I suggest looking into the subject, for I have limited time and resorses at my disposal to put it all into words, suffice to say its important enough for my loved ones to need to know about it, and believe me its on a need to know basis...

Speaking of loved ones, being a Cancerian, that encompasses the whole of this god forsaken planet

when my Mum died

fire; to keep you warm

death spoke in tongues

I looked into her eyes and death spoke

He spoke in tongues, to ones that were listening, to ones who could care.

If it wasn't for me , then you'd be there too

I woke and death touched her lips, the frosty, ice cold lifeless form, was laid there for all to see.

In memory of my Mother , Liala Payne 05-11-1950 29-12-2007

00:51

how we process thoughts and feeling...

just the way they...

today is yet another day, maybe i should keep count,

if your new here and your wandering what I'm counting days for; its all here -

impressions

I am getting better, day by day, and with the help of some very special friends, I am seeing life in a totally new and auspicious way.

Thanks life for what we have here and now,

if only things could be just as they are...

danny payne

ok, so here goes

up and down up and down, like a roller coaster, going from dark to light , dark to light, when will it stop, i need to get off, I'm going to be sick...


Its Monday, my favorite day . It all happens on a monday.

I was feeling really bad yesterday, pains in the chest, the heart chakara not working properly, blockages, Mums Death, .

This is how I feel, because today is another day, and I have felt ok. Until I had to call a student and explain why I had disappeared over christmas and hadn't been back yet.
Its worse when someone knows your Mum but doesnt know she died, and is asking how they are, and you have to be the one to explain that your own loved one has passed away.

I hope by doing these blogs I can come to terms with it on a more of a profound level.

I was talking with my Mother in law yesterday, asking how she survived the loss of her mother at an early age. I was pretty shocked to find that she had tears in her eyes and said that after 30 years it was still painful. the thing is you see , she had blocked it out, they were so close in the family that after the mum died, the father followed on shortly after and i think that it was easier to forget them...

Thirty years, my God. Maybe it is time for me to abstract these feelings, I don't want to be upset for the rest of my life, I also want to be able to think of My Mother in honor of her life and to feel her as a part of me. here and now. and forever more...

abrahams visit

it was on this day that I did merry meet one of the most influential people of these times. I read the book, Celestine Prophecy, almost 10 years ago. and to be honest with you, thought i had gotten over it already. how wrong could i be. I must remember to go and visit the church in rio preto where i had the spiritual healing.

back to the prophecy.

My Mum passed over on the 29th and I had been there to see her. This was my long trip back home to Brazil.

I was sat with Abraham, on the plane, i had noticed him, as he was sitting in the same row but on the other side close to the window. We first made contact due to a creaking t.v that was attached to my chair. after, i saw him doing Yoga, i asked what style it was, i must email him to ask again, I have forgotten, or i didn't understand in the first place. He is Spanish and although speaks English very well, he has an accent...I mentioned kundalini yoga, and we hit it off straight away.

He mentioned that he had noticed me in the airport and that he thought we would meet.

I was enthralled with his stage of enlightenment. having been traveling around the world and having met highly developed people, Abraham was on an important path. He has been studying the ways of the shaman, and uses his knowledge to help others awaken to themselves. I managed to keep up with most of what he was saying, he is only a young man at what seems to be his early twenties, he eats just berries, seeds and fresh vegetables ,( something I have been touching on for a while )telling me that the energy of a place stays in the food, at which he presented a small tub containing some fruits and seed from the Himalaya's. oh man, this guy was incredible. he had the scent about him of a strange hint of oils from a far away land.

On opening up his bag, i was astonished to find more stronger scents and then he produced a small bottle he said was from an Indian sage he had met on the road, this Indian was an old lady who famously has natural oils perspiring from her hands. Abraham put a little on the lower part of my thumb telling me to rub my hands together, and pull them into my chest. This instantly created a lovely hot sensation, which I'm sure was for the good of my aching heart.

I will try not to sound too 'up his arse' for want of a better phrase - ,.., I took out my kundalini stone that my kind cousin had given me recently, to find a good reaction from my new friend. He went on to perform a cleansing ritual, bringing out of his travelers bag some oil, the ritual was made up of many hand gestures over the stone, also with him blowing a strange harmonic sound onto it and what looked like a drawing out and sending off. My stone was clean and he told me it was a very good and precious crystal.

I was given an amazing gift of a piece of volcanic substance, very dark and resembling a form of coal. This rock was perfect for grounding, and was taken from source on the island of Hawaii.

Abraham also broke off a piece of wood and explained how to smudge yourself, rotating clockwise or anticlockwise depending on the desired effect.

All through this experience i could feel various levels of enlightenment creeping up on me. A strange feeling of almost drug endused euphoria.

Music was an all important piece of the larger puzzle, I was amazed at this pool of knowledge opening up to me, as I have been very interested in studying sacred sound and geometry. Have been on that path now for at least 5 years with no sight of a door in view.
Abraham asked if I wished to listen to some music he was into, I jumped at the chance, and so we were both hooked up to his ipod. Sound can be used to open up the chakras, as a tool for grounding , and depending on whether you have melody or not can be used as the shamans did with drums and rhythm to let the mind wander over to that sacred place of dream-state where magical miracles can happen.

I was learning so much , at an almost incredibly fast pace, every now and then I had to stop and collect myself, remember how important it is to breath.

The funniest thing happened when we plugged into the ipod. obviously we were both soaring high, when the plane began to hit turbulence, the music was a shamans guide and is what a spiritually enlightened person would listen to for the 'visual experience' , I had some very strong visualizations, seeing green grass at first with one tonal arrangement, moving on to a triangular symbol with the next change in sound, and when we moved up to a third phase I was astonished to feel the presence of an American Indian. I saw a bird, hawk like or an eagle, flying up and across to the right where he perched up on a rock face, then down and swooping right at me. This is when i felt the Indian.

The funny thing was that the both of us were geared up for something big to happen i suppose, and when the plane hit turbulence, i for one thought it was definitely death, and that all this had been in preparation, me coming to the state of awareness one needs to pass over - the plane was jumping this way and that , dropping, losing altitude, and a t.v in front of us on a passenger headrest was flashing causing me to wander if it was in the dream...

I looked at Abraham, and he noticed my surprised expression and maybe a hint of fear, which he shrugged of as if to say everything was going to be o.k.
Well , the plane didn't crash, the music finished and I explained my concern to which we both laughed out loud, and nearly woke the whole plane...

I read some text on a shamanic trust I think in the U.K, a kind of course one can take to learn all about the old ways. Interesting.

In the Celestine Prophecy they speak of a place in Peru where scientists were experimenting with plants and the giving of energy. Abraham claimed the book to be totally true except for the fact that it wasn't set in Peru like the book suggests but in fact it all took place in Brazil. Where I was headed.

Its so easy to get side tracked and to go off gallivanting around the world, chasing dreams of dragons and castles and damsels in distress. Not for this time, I had to get a reality check and try and find my way back to my wife and kids, otherwise I would have high tailed it and would have been as we speak up to my knees in it searching for some lost medicinal plants in Patagonia, for that is where Abraham was headed. Then up through Peru and Machu Pichu to arrive in Brazil for March/April time. Who knows our paths may cross again, Its just strange that his destination here is Brasilia, and my wife is on about planning a trip there soon...

impressions

I have been told it would be a good idea to blog my inner-most thoughts and feelings. Well, here goes, a bit scary, but important all the same...

My heart aches,

not the childish, missing someone kind, but the real thing, hurt, painful, sorry kind of ache. If only there were something i could do about it.

My Mum Died, on the 29th of December, when I write those words I feel the pain in my chest.

I was fine leading up to it because i was prepared, i had actually gotten used to the idea, if you can get used to such a thing. It was me that told everyone that death is such a wonderful thing, a new beginning, the end of an era, but not for the one in question.

Also, my faith had put me in strong self esteem, and had me able to keep the others afloat. I was sure everything would be ok. It was down to me to be the one to express myself at the bedside in the hospital. Mum had been there for over a month, and because I had been away in another country all that time, I had fresh eyes and senses to look upon the situation. When I arrived I could see that family members were in a kind of a trance, it felt like they were keeping my mum alive, with their thoughts and feelings, holding her back in a way. Its not nice for me to be writing this so coldly, but i feel i need to get it out.

Death was on his way, and i could see him. Scythe and all.

My loved ones were holding out for recovery. It hurt me so, to see them there, and it hurt me more to see my Mum holding on when it was clear as day that things were not good. I suppose we hold out till the last moment, hoping for it to become some kind of weird dream, because thats how it feels now, looking back on it, just some kind of a strange, very, 'unreal' dream...

I was able to speak clearly and articulate some of my thoughts and perceptions to my Mum. Or at least they were my thoughts and beliefs at the time. How wrong was I... for now my beliefs have been broken down and my whole being taken back to infancy...

And to explain what happened to me and why:

Many people join the Spiritualist movement on losing a loved one. I had already been going to church for over a year when my Mum died. So for me, the reverse effect had been put in place.

I now have no belief in spiritualism other then the basic principals of mediumship that I learnt along the way.
Don't get me wrong I am neither condoling, nor putting down, any type of organized religion, I am just stating that its not for me, not at this point in my life, not now, not after what has happened. I have too much to learn to be bogged down with dogma.

It is so true that we forget to learn when we think we 'know' it already. have a listen to Alan Watts podcast.

At least my childhood was not taken up with dogma and doctrine, infact my parents never invited or pushed any of that on us. I had not even ever read the bible, still haven't actually

I was so lucky to have a few minutes alone with Mother before she passed, I remembered my Brother told me that Mum had said she was scared of dying. This was a few weeks before, so I was going to try and speak to her privately about it. There cant be anything worse than being in a hospital bed and to be scared. I wanted to be able to say that death was nothing to fear , and I did, I managed to speak from the heart and explained that granddad would be there waiting, all would be well, and to go peacefully because now was the time, "close your eyes Mum", I said. And she did...

Thanks for listening.

Danny Payne

up early?

were you up early this morning?
because I was, infact I was late to bed and remember someone getting up for work as i tried in vein to get some much needed rest, sleeping on my cousins couch... i remeber dreaming of someone telephoning me and woke to a missed call and a message from my brother asking where I was. It was too late by the time the conversation had died down, much too late to go home, plus when i did try to get back home the car wouldnt start.

danny payne
In U.k at time of post

about me

I am 32 and and have climbed mountains, been underground, lived music, meditated, read the celestine prophecy -in one sitting- walked bare foot back from France, been backstage at Glastonbury, made some records, lived on a farm, Had my face smashed in by the head of a lunatics friend, and lived on Brighton beach. - Almost in that order - trained as a medium, earned money as an outdoor adventure activity instructor, taught in schools, traveled around the world and found there´s no place like home... have 3 kids and married to a beautiful Brazilian. My kids are bilingual and I am trying to Master Portuguese. I sometimes find it hard to have time to do the things i enjoy for the risk of seeming selfish...I have recorded, toured and played drums with members of spacemen 3 , Spiritualized, The Silver Apples, the darkside, Alphastone, The Shady, , The Psychedelic Ubik - Sterling Roswell, Tueana, Nation, Pure Fiction, , Boot, copperpot, freelovebabies, cornerstone, Soma, Banda do Ingles, Rerfeito, . Italy, France, Germany, Belgium, Switzerland, Denmark, Holland, Spain, The Uk, Brazil and Australia. and its all down to ' that book ' . No silly, not the bible...

randomness

ok, so i.ve been drinking and its 04:11 new years day, ita a new dawn a new day, and i'm feeling fine, de dum, de dum, de dum de dum de dum...

one shouldnt feel afraid of what one does or says, as long as its with feeling, with response, thought provocing, be it creative or unimaginative.

danny payne

I recently began Twitting, and these past couple of days thought I had my addiction in hand, because yes it is just another addiction..

but yey no , seesmic, a new addiction, and better, much better...

what next?

Death?

you gotta laugh aint ya, sometimes i come out with stuff even i think is weird !

on a quest

When I was 25, a great age to be, I went to Glastonbury. The year was 1999. life was good. , I was in a band with a guy that was most influential to many groups out there today.
We were at Abbey Road studios one day with The Dandy Warhols in the room next to us, the main guy there in the band told me that spacemen 3 were his favourite group, Also had the same thing back stage Glastonbury with Stuart from Mogwia... Recording in the studio, touring Europe, Germany, Italy, Holland. Things could'nt be better. ................

During this time I had been made President of the student union at a College of Music and to tell you the truth what with that and being in a popular band , it was all starting to go to my head, power crazed i must have become... ha, looking back on it now it wasnt so bad, my own office, me just a mere student, sudden popularity, hmmm not really, not so much as you would notice anyway, although i must have been popular at the time to get the job in the first place hey!
so, there I was , President and a mad bad, kick ass drummer, ahem, sorry for the title, just came to mind, anyway, the point is, i had a lot going for myself, not only was i in a good social position but I had recently climbed out of a very large hole that was self dug through neglegence and down right stupidity on my behalf what with all the rock n roll and what comes with it, if you know the language I'm speaking,. Thankfully i didn't end up in Hospital, i was close to it mind, but my Dad , god bless his soul - not dead - took me under his wing at my lowest ebb and had me planting flowers and eating vegetables, to him the most important thing was to get my body clock back in order, getting to bed before midnight and rising with the sun. - This all sounds so much out of place when thinking I had started this story on such a high note- .

Reiki if you re not familiar with the process, it is where you are put into a state of calm and are re-balanced with all your Chakaras and energy points. A close friend of mine had recently become good at it and decided it was time for me to have a go, as i was due to leave for Glastonbury shortly, and what better time to get 'ready'.
Something else that needs pointing out here, is that I had been to see the Australian doors with some good friends and had taken Acid, it was my Birthday. Along with the Acid I was given a book, the Celestine prophecy, which I read that night and hastily missed the part that explains its not a real story!!!...

we are now leading up to the digging of the whole bit...

The book was great, a real eye opener! wow, i thought, what great a way of spending your time, chasing after insight and spiritual meaning. Boy was I confused. easily done, especially in this modern day of age with technology at its highest and the brain trying to keep up with all this information overload, there's bound to be a point where your mind just says "right thats enough, I've had it, I think I will just stop working properly and start creating a whole new reality based on psychosis and fame". "Lets pretend we're Jim Morrison and stay up for seven days and seven nights philosophizing". I am the Lizard King, I can do Anything!

But you cant, and you wont, not if I can help it, now start crying and don't stop for a week or two, then let me know what your thinking, and see if black is really white, up is down, left right, and vice a versa...
Whoa Whoa there boy, slight tangent there; or is it? , maybe not, maybe sounds too mad, but until you've been there i guess you have nothing to compare, those of you who have been there though, know exactly what i am talking about, know exactly where i am coming from and know all about how one can find oneself in such a dark and frightening place.
There are many artists and the like that have had stress related breakdowns, brought on either by the use of drugs or just for the fact that their mind's are just way too 'out there'.



Now begins the real story of how I met my wife and was led out of the darkness and into the light ,

once i was blind but now i see, now that you made a believer out of me babe.


Sitting in my room one night, a figure appeared in front of me, as if by magic and as quickly as she had arrived, she was gone, into thin air.


to be continued